Giving Mom a Break
In order to fully benefit from the advice in this article, husbands need to get a particular idea in their head: yes, you’re tired too, and yes, you’re new at this whole parent thing just like your wife, but the thing a husband needs to understand is that absolutely nothing will ever match the sheer exhaustion of a new mom. Giving birth to a baby, whether naturally or surgically is monumentally tiring. Add to this the hormones surging through your wife’s body, the sleep deprivation, and, for some women, the fatiguing act of breastfeeding and you have on your hands a woman who seriously needs a break.
You may think to yourself, “my wife is handling this new mom role like a champ; she hasn’t asked for any breaks so I’ll wait until she’s ready.” Yes sir, it is time for chivalry to make a comeback and for you to swoop in and be the hero. Your wife will return refreshed, and maybe even in a better mood. Doesn’t that make it worth it? The first tip is to actually insist upon a break for your wife. Some women don’t feel able to ask for a break, while other moms may be reluctant to be physically separated from their baby. For whatever reason, sometimes it takes a loving partner to gently yet adamantly suggest a break before a new mom will realize that it may indeed be time to take a breather.
The best thing about a break for a new mom is that someone else takes the reigns for a while, allowing her to relax on the mommy responsibilities even for a brief amount of time. For this reason, the second tip is to have all the bases covered. If you’re not ready to watch the baby solo while your wife gets some much-needed alone time consider bringing in reinforcements to assist you. After all, a break wouldn’t be much of a treat for your wife if prior to her departure you asked her, “By the way, honey, how do I care for this screaming, pooping, squirming baby while you’re gone?”
A break doesn’t need to be elaborate or expensive. Some new moms will feel like a whole new person after a short stroll around the block without the baby tagging along. For others, a bubble bath can do wonders. Your third tip is that even the smallest break in the day will count towards cool points for you, and know that women do indeed keep score. Try suggesting that your wife go to another room and call a friend, or maybe take a short nap. Think of these small breaks you allow her as more than a courtesy, but rather an investment in your wife’s sanity.
Do you have some cash to spare and a little more time on your hands to take the baby for a while? Your fourth tip is to consider sending your wife off for some pampering. Massages, manicures, pedicures, and all sorts of other spa treatments can help a new mom feel like less of a spit-up rag and more of a woman. Even something as simple as a quick eyebrow waxing will help your wife feel a little more put together.
The fifth tip is to set aside time for your wife to indulge in some activities she enjoyed before becoming a new mom. Did she enjoy working out at the gym? Did she sing in the church choir? Encourage your wife to rejoin the human race and leave the house once in a while without the baby, and you’re likely to see a happier mommy.
The sixth tip is to really mean it when you say she has been doing a great job and deserves a break. Don’t think that mumbling, “so I guess you need a break or something?” will get the same response as “you’ve been working so hard, I think you deserve some relaxation time!” When it comes right down to it, don’t you want the woman who is raising your kids to be at her best? Give your wife a break, and she’ll likely be a more patient and effective parent to your bundle of joy, and a more loving wife to you. Now that’s a win-win situation!